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I’m working towards something and I seriously have no idea what. I have this general sense to keep going. I am working on Liber Samekh. I read it about 10 times today planning out the ritual, looking for pointers, playing with ideas, reading the JWMT, etc.

The Good Daemon has announced itself.

I have no idea what to do. Sigh. I’ve been told to read Achad’s HGA series. I plan on paging through it on the train tomorrow morning. I am so incredibly off balance at the moment I opted not to page through it tonight.

While I read the ritual, it’s different from doing the ritual. Samekh seems to be the Correct Version of the ritual. I got upstairs and tried to put as much oomph as possible into the names. I did not banish, and since the Gnostic Mass isn’t banished I believe this to be correct. I let the images build the temple around me, at first I thought I was in a small box and then I realized I was in someone elses temple. This is just weird as all hell, especially from someone who keeps their mental temple so clean it’s almost immaterial.

I completed the ritual and immediately, immediately felt weighed down. It was almost the place I get to in deep meditation but different. I had to sit down. I was in a place of no thoughts, maybe the center of my own black hole. I contemplated the names I generated and immediately came to a pronunciation. I tried rolling the pronunciation around in my head. I added -el, I added -al. I was still in the black hole. Suddenly I saw a small, very small pinprick of light. My impression is that this was the HGA spirit (which I cannot perceive) trying to lift me up out of the black hole. It’s trying very hard to move me out of this space or shell. I tried engaging it in conversation but I have nothing in response, only this tugging sensation that I’m supposed to be somewhere but have no idea where, or how.

Reviewing my notes, I think I have the name of the Natal Genius, the Good Daimon. Now what?

“I am perplexed”. Or should start reading and chugging scotch.

Where did the mansions of the moon ritual go? I felt it was sort of blah and for whatever reason I’m suddenly captivated by the idea of exploring the HGA concept.