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Lets try… something new! I lost an hour meditating. It was one of those where I hit it just right and fell into the darkness. I ate an extremely light dinner also – one chicken finger left over from my kid and a tin of octopus.

I opened by KC, LBRP, LIRH, KC. Almost immediately I got a “there you are” from ‘the other place’. Apparently the HGA was waiting for me to get my banishing correct? There was almost immediately a figure. But, the figure was incredibly fleeting. It was like I was acknowledged, then something happened and the contact was broken.

I decided the best thing to do was use the name I was given in a fourfold breath. For those who don’t remember, I was given a four syllable name which was a sound-alike to the name I generated from Agrippa per Rufus’s instructions. I did however many fourfold breaths (does anyone keep track) and finally realized the incense smoke was forming… something. When I was working with the Lesser Key, this typically meant the spirit was here and wanted me to scry. I tried to scry. Almost involuntarily, I decided to “cast up” an empty body-of-light. Almost at the same time a mirrorlike projection came down from above and occupied this body. The body sprouted wings of light, and the face was a pale light brilliance like sky blue in the brightest day. My wife had left the altar setup for mercury, so the colors were all oranges, and I was using a yellow candle. It definitely wasn’t eyeball scrying from the altar. At the same time the candle (mostly burnt out) became bright enough I decided to peep. It almost looked like a small figure was in the flame, but the flame hadn’t grown any to account for the brightness.

[name]? “Yes, I am here. I am present in the form, which is you but not you. As a unity of the whole.” This is incredibly hard to describe, at one level I was the Angel examining my life and on the other level I was talking to myself. I continued my four fold breath. I briefly discussed my plan of action, which I can post about (later) when things settle down, but it definitely came up on its own and the examination was definitely outside-looking-in on the issue.

OK so where are we? A vision of the archangels with their backs to me. A glass platform rests on their shoulders. This vision is something I’ve had before when either summoning the complete Tablet of Union or really working slowly through the KC. The Angel is actually above me, on another platform or something. “And Michael?” I vibrate Mi-chai-el and the tetragrammaton and I move up to the Angel. Michael appears on the platform in my old place. The Sun appears brilliantly. The Angel spreads its wings and something like a cool breeze overtakes me. There is a smell like benzoin. This is extremely important. I’m burning cedar incense because it’s my Enochian “sweet wood” incense which normally lives on the table. Smelling benzoin shouldn’t happen, but it overtook me as the Angel spread it’s wings and prevented me from being burnt from the incredibly close Sun.

Are you the HGA? “I am a mask.” This is a nonanswer, and I am frustrated. On one hand the Angel might be indicating it is a form of the HGA, and on the other hand the Angel might be indicating this Angel is not the HGA. For reference, I did not suffix the name with -el or -al, because it would have made it five syllables instead of four. I am annoyed, and will probably vibrate ADNI next time as the mantra as a general expression of holiness.

What would I fix in my life? This produced a weird circular feeling. I caught myself. What should Phergoph fix in his life? “We should worry less about money. It is merely imaginary and it occupies his thoughts far too much. It consumes him to the point of consideration about funds rather than action. He then misses out on enrichment”. It’s true, I make a good portion of money, but me and my wife have been absolutely F’ed on cash flow since the whole fiscal cliff thing. There was some sort of sideband chatter here about being too severe and too merciful, but it was two opposite spirits talking to each other and I really didn’t get the message. When they agreed, it was extremely clear. When they differed, it was like static in a channel. I suspect this is a reference to kicking someone out of a Facebook group. I also feel I’m supposed to post about it as a moral lesson to myself.

Basically some kid wandered into the Enochian Magic group, and started bragging about how he was having Enochian-shaman experiences, etc. It became really obvious really quickly he had no idea. However, things really took a turn south when he started getting blasphemous messages from the spirit. I didn’t put two and two together, but my better half, D- did. He is as merciful as I am severe. I was going to kick him, but D argued that someone having shamanistic experiences had the fundamentals of magic down but lacked the ceremony which would give his magic focus. This all came to a head when he picked a fight with D, who guessed that the kid might be schizophrenic. This was probably accurate, because the kid absolutely blew a gasket over it. I immediately kicked him when the insults starting flying. The spirits in tonight’s meditation seemed to be discussing it rapid fire, but the moral lesson seemed to be something I didn’t consider at all – it was a possible growing experience for D over having to kick someone. I acted out of some sense of chivalry, but was it honor or was it merely vindicating my own lesser nature that I kicked him? Surely it would have been D’s responsibility having argued for mercy to kick him. I didn’t see it. D is fairly racked with guilt over being so tolerant, and feels he was baited. My nature? Anger. Somehow this stupid event on some small corner of the internet of Facebook of all places has gotten our spheres into enough of a bojangles to warrant commentary from spirits.

Hopefully I can hit this again tomorrow and make a stride out of it.

OK I just had a thought while proof-reading this. I am the Natal Genius here. I was talking to the HGA. I am retarded for not realizing it in the meditation. It’s the only possible way two spirits can be talking amongst themselves about the magician while the magician is not in the consciousness of his own life. The HGA talks to the NG – and the NG understands the mundane crap in the magicians life while the HGA has the big picture.