I did possibly the worst thing a magician can do for his magical faith…
I evoked and charged a spirit to have me win the powerball!
Since I’m still blogging and lamenting my day job, dear reader, you can tell it didn’t work.
Why didn’t it work? – Two things very likely were the problem. We evoked Paimon, which another member of my magic group had been working with extensively and was good at what would be called nonrational forms of money (or debt). The guy asked Paimon for $300 – and he was given a job to make way more than $300. He asked for 10x that amount ($3000 for student loans) and had his student loans forgiven. While I tend to frown on nonstandard uses of the demons for a particular charge, having seen how he operated in the other guys life I figured it was worth a shot. Anyway, I knew we were in for it when we evoked the spirit because the spirit took awhile to come and then generally was evasive. If the spirit is evasive, it means it’s probably the wrong spirit. Having been caught at work with little time to tear down the whole process and start over, I figured we would just run with it. This was really the biggest problem too – me and my wife didn’t have our crap together and put out mixed messages. Fastest way to magical failure is to have a conflict of will.
The second reason why it didn’t work is because everyone else is throwing magic around too. Ever notice how the lotto winners all praise Jesus/Angels/Saints/Mary/Toast/Ancestors? Yup, they’re praying too. The Big Secret in magic is that it doesn’t matter who you pray to, prayer produces slightly better results than not praying. While prayer is nice, and low magic is better, and evocation seems to knock people’s socks off – you get out of it what you put into it. Which brings us to…
How’d it all go?
I haven’t had time to build my almadel so the whole thing still lives on the mantle. I was considering evoking the enochian angels who have knowledge of transformation, but my wife wanted to help and I thought paimon was a good fit anyway.
The first problem was my wife got Florida Water in the mail from god knows where and she loves to burn it. I had previously used it as the aspergent (“asperge me with hyssop, O Lord”), but she then lit a freaking cauldron of it next to the sigil. I was trying to evoke a spirit, not nuke the astral. It worked as advertised and nuked the astral, but I didn’t like it’s particular version of “clean” versus a LBRP or similar. Unfortunately this also meant that since she lit it after I did the conjuration, the spirit showed up just in time to get kicked back out. We’re not really making friends here. The correct thing to burn here would be Hoyt’s Cologne, which brings gambling luck.
I read the conjuration, she lit it up, and I definitely had problems apprehending the spirit. When it looked like it was starting to burn down, I did the second conjuration and sort of got a fuzzy impression of the spirit. This wasn’t optimal. Finally I just said to her we were going to wait until the water burned out and then we were going to start over. Florida Water – not just an aspergent. She insisted on trying to call in the spirit so I finally said, “Paimon put out the florida water if you’re here.” The florida water sputtered out shortly thereafter and the coal virtually exploded in the thurible simultaneously which I took to mean “you’re both idiots” and “I am here”.
My wife led with a “please don’t burn down the house” and “we really need the money and winning even $1000 would be great!” I told her that sucks and is grossly underachieving, we need to ask to hit the big prize. Now we’re having an argument about scope in the circle in the presence of the spirit. Really poor form – especially for a Solomonic magician where everything is about command and control. There’s some ridiculously hostile stuff out there, the worst time possible to have a disagreement is when you’re in the middle of it. I attempted to get the spirits attention again (actually I was trying to keep myself in the mindset – it takes me forever to get into the mood to really sense things and by this time I had certainly blown it between the florida water debacle and the discussion) and I got sort of a wishy-washy impression of the spirit even in the thick smoke of incense. This time I explained if we hit the big money, we would make him a gold seal fit for a KING (get it?) and burn frankincense and myrrh in his name – FIT FOR A KING. We were burning frankincense and myrrh presently for the evocation, it makes nice smoke and I like the smell. The spirit seemed more interested in this proposition but at this point I was having issues sensing the spirit. I asked my wife if she had anything else to add and she said no, so we dismissed the spirit.
We put the spirits seals between the lotto cards (law of contagion) and I put the blessed candle I use for evocation into a royal purple jar to let it burn. I used my prosperity candle I made with her coven and waved the cards and seals around in it.
My wife went upstairs to do some rune reading (why couldn’t she wait half an hour?) and drew Dagaz, which leads us to another important topic – the Lo Scarabeo rune set comes with possibly the worst book I’ve ever seen on runes. Seriously – either use Odins Gateways or don’t even pick up a bag of runes. Even RuneSecrets.com doesn’t suck. The Lo Scarabeo booklet indicated that Dagaz was “wealth” (what?) and she took it to mean we would win the lotto in 60 minutes. She also asks the runes two questions at once, which I personally think muddles the reading. But lets assume for a moment she drew the correct rune for the situation despite herself. Odin’s Gateways has the short form as “dawn, conclusion, beginning”. Could this be the beginning of getting RICH? Could the solar dawn represent VAST WEALTH? Could it be the conclusion of STUDENT LOAN DEBT?
As usual the runes are ridiculously literal – and the rune poem for dagaz doesn’t disappoint:
Day is Odin’s messenger, dear to men,
The Ruler’s glorious light,
Mirth and hope to prosperous and poor,
Useful to all.
The rune poem should be “Odin tells you – don’t quit your day job.”